Ode to June

Expectancy, sounds slightly like i'm expecting a baby but the prospect seems just less complicated than of actually having an offspring.
Lebenserwartung, klingt großartig, habe ich von pons.de bekommen (die Übersetzung meine ich) aber weniger kompliziert als eine Lebenserwartung, einfach was man sich fröhlich sein kann.

back to my subject.

a few things to look forward to:
- better weather (besseres Wetter)
- World Cup (die WM)
- the resolving of certain problems in my circle of friends (die Auflösung macher Problemen meines Freundkreises)
- THOM YORKE'S "THE ERASER!!!" (ohne die aufrufezeichens)
- a job, perhaps (einen Job, vielleicht?)

There we go, let us plunge, in the lark!

Jetzt gehts los, springen wir hinein in den Ulk!

I'm being overly sensitive.

I have tons of new music, but im still in the process of digesting them.

bilingual in a world of confusionism

man to man (sorry feminists, but this just sounds better)
Mensch zu Mensch
when console viewed in suspect
wenn der Trost zum Verdacht gestellt
do you ask why the sun comes after the rain?
fragst du, warum kommt die Sonne nach dem Regen?
if i see you
wenn ich dich sehe
cast your doubts aside
vernichtet es deine Zweifel
in you is a rose
in dir ist eine Rose
with what nurtures you?
womit ernährst du sie?

Charles

John Fowles sent me into the realms and the spring of sadness yesterday.
i was a medium, saw everything behind those stones, saw how the cigarette
smoke curls, saw how empty the looks looked, heard not the words spoken,
saw the shadow there, the emptiness just sitting there.

and then i saw the image.
of this giant, humongous wheel, and on that wheels are humans,
you and me, and everyone else, antlike.
and we are pushing, i am pushing your back and you are pushing my back
millions being trampled on, millions being dragged, thousands being lifted on the shoulders.
and there are newborns, not yet accustomed with breathing but must move along with the
stream, dragged, pushed, lifted, whatever.
and he told me, in that moment, i am already an outsider, at that moment,
i am on the wheel and not. i was glad to hear that.
didnt buddha manage to be freed of this wheel?
you cannot stop you know, you can't afford it, or do you?

oh, and John Fowles wrote this:
You will see that Charles set his sights high. Intelligent idlers always have, in order to justify their idleness to their intelligence. unquote.
thats pretty sad stuff, but he wrote:
it was an unforgettable face, and a tragic face. Its sorrow welled out of it as purely, naturally and unstoppably as water out of a woodland spring. There was no artifice there, no hypocrisy, no hysteria, no mask; and above all, no sing of madness. The madness was in the empty sea, the empty horizon, the lack of reason for such sorrow; as if spring was natural in itself, but unnatural in welling from a desert. unquote
i thought i have found the perfect description to my camille claude postcard.

have a nice day.

the sun is shining, the people are out, like sprouts of baby springs.

When the new, injected into you
life springs out in advances like
currents heavier and faster than the niagara falls.
no, im not talking about drugs.
as a matter of fact, i might need some at the moment (drugs i mean), because my whole body is aching so badly that a single jerk might tear it apart into pieces.
no, im not kidding.
for the last 2 weeks, there have been lots of movement, kinesis, in my life.
thank partially to the fact that the weather is beginning to show a promising summer (why do i think of summer? should be enjoying the spring.), but mostly to some new acquaintances that ive made.
so i have been like partying every weekend, staying up late, going to bed long after the sun has risen. that sounds like some fulfilling life man. no, but the fact that the good company, and the good understanding and the interesting, thought-evoking conversations are what that makes it so good.

the latest book ive read (not very honest) is one by Bertolt Brecht, who used to be a favourite of a great friend of mine, Eui Seok. The book i picked to read about was a drama, entitled "Die Aufstieg und Fall der Stadt Mahagony" For those of you who dont know what it means, go learn German.
The book revises, or touches on the vicious circle of looking for meaning and reason in life (thats how i read it) but using rather simple ideas like (money, love(sex), drink and violence and the unreasonable corrupt of power. At first i thought the way he wrote the book was rather banal and understating a lot of facts, but after thinking about it, i begin to realize what he is trying to say and that is definately the level one is pushed towards to when one can't go deeper into something. Like a dead body always float on the surface. But i will have to give it a second read to come up with something more concrete. another book ive read is from Sartre. It deals about existentialism which is the favourite topic of mine at the moment, due to my lectures on Samuel Beckett.
To think that Ireland produced such great writers, it might really be nice if i do consider going to Dublin for the exchange programme, to study it's mentality and culture. But i have been warned, i think globalization has destroyed a large part of it.

And the other day, we talked about 'Aestheticism'. touching on everything to culural influences to political ones to 'value' and the collective idea behind it. But like a frog, if you dissect it, it might not look nice anymore. but it is definately a very good topic to think and talk about.

think will stop now.